Monday, April 30, 2012

"Good" Mom--What does that even mean?

What makes a good mama?

I find myself struggling with this phrase.  What does it mean?  I let D go to bed in his clothes without a bath last night and I feel like the worst mom ever!  But he's loved, fed, cared for and all that good stuff...so I'm not doing too bad I guess!!

My husband (or as we call him "Daddyguy") has said since D was born "bad moms don't know they're bad!  They don"t care!" and he is constantly telling me to be easier on myself.  But people, we are parents!!  These babies depend completely on us and we are responsible for their upbringing.  I am constantly thinking about my Cub's well being.  Is he eating enough?  Sleeping enough?  Are his milestones being hit?  Does he know how much I love him?  I worry 24/7.

I know I should be more gentle with myself however the incredible overwhelming love I have for Cub can sometimes make me a little batty...

What do you think makes a "good" mama??

<3 Jen

3 comments:

  1. Your husband is right...a "good" mama is one that worries about her kids. So in those terms...you are a "good" mama!!! But as mamas we are always too hard on ourselves and worry about being that perfect mom who does everything right for our kids. As long as they are fed, changed, warm, safe, healthy, and happy...what more can you want? So what if he slept in his clothes...there was no danger or harm done. Ps. he will never remember PLUS I am certain it was not the last time he will sleep in his clothes and go without a bath!

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  2. I'm really not sure what makes a good mom, but if the worst thing you ever do is let him go to bed without a bath in his clothes....then you are super mom! Seriously. That's not a big deal at all! You're doing great. We as moms are way too hard on ourselves (and sometimes on each other as well, but that's a whole different post!). I understand your guilt, but I think the fact that you are questioning things and worrying about what your baby needs means you're doing a great job.

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  3. I hope you girls don't mind a Gramma chiming in. But what Laura D. said "As long as they are fed, changed, warm, safe, healthy, and happy...", is spot on. Believe me, as a young mother I worried and obsessed over just about everything. Fast forward a few decades and looking back I really wish I would have taken it easier on myself. Over all I did a pretty darn good job. And now I have grandchildren as my reward. ;D

    As long as you are an attentive mother and look out for your children's needs (and sometimes their wants), love them, etc., you *are* a good mom. You sometimes feel like running away, even just for a few hours? Well, it's normal to feel that way, too. Although I do not recommend running away at all. But do take some time just for you. A happy, relaxed mommy is a good thing. :)

    Oh, and Brandi's right, too. My mil told me on several occasions...a baby doesn't have to be bathed every night. And you know what...she was right! Yes, I tried to make it a point to give my babies a bath every night, but sometimes it didn't happen. Mommies get sick, exhausted, or whatever, and the child will be OK having skipped a bath.

    That's my condensed response. LOL

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